Let’s Stop the “Smart” Talk.
I’m not sure when it happens, but there is a time in everyone’s childhood that you become aware that there are “smart” kids in your class. Even moreso, you realize that there are kids who are smarter than you and that at times, you might not feel smart enough. Not only that, but as this continues, teachers and other adults outside of school tend to use the word “smart” as praise for a student. But what does being “Smart” even mean?
I think if you ask any kid “what does it mean to be smart”, you’ll get some answers like:
They’re the first to finish a test.
They get to go work with _____ on math or science.
They get really good grades.
They don’t even have to try.
In summary, kids (and even adults) tend to think that people are “smart” when learning comes easy. But… Smart and Easy aren’t the same and they shouldn’t go together! What happens when kids think “smart” means the same as “it comes easy to me” and it eventually (and most likely will) become not easy for them? It’s not good. When you’ve been made to believe that you’re smart because you already know the content or because it’s easy for you to learn and then all of a sudden, it’s not easy to learn and you do not already know the subject, this can cause a major internal issue with consequences.
Praise has long-term effects and is incredibly important in building confidence and identity in kids. With that, I challenge you to think about the words that you use as praise and shift from using the word “Smart” to focusing more on what your child or student DID. Let’s focus on what they were able to do, the observations that you made, and the process they took.
It can seem a little different at first, but some examples could be:
I love how hard you tried/worked on that problem.
It looks like you finished that really quickly. Let’s try something different.
You had a really interesting perspective on that topic that I hadn’t thought of.
It looks like you knew a lot about that topic before we started. I wonder what would happen if….
This can be a shift for many. But I challenge you to shift your focus and emphasize the process, rather than the product. If it looks like something came really easy to a kid, let’s steer away from saying how “smart” they are.
